even before my 18

seriously, they are like big time idiots.
omg..
so irritating. seriously.
kept me worrying the whole of last night about skipping training for work.
and only this morning, they told me that i DON'T have to.
and because of that, i abandoned jocelyn in the morning and i have to row alone in the afternoon.
sickening
sickening
sickening!
yes, just the day before my 18th.

i'm really not looking forward to being 18.
i really don't.
i hope today doesn't end so soon.
i still want to enjoy my last few breath as a s.e.v.e.n.t.e.e.n.
i know i'm weird.
but i just don't like being older.

till next time>>

ATTENTION!

forgot to announce something VERY VERY ULTRA SUPER important!

know what?
I can BRAID my OWN hair!
my own hair, with my own hands on my own head!
omg! seriously. i finally found someone who can teach me to braid my OWN hair. Thanks HUI MIN!
cos you know, it's really unfair that i am able to do it for other people, like their hair, on their head but not for myself! hahahhahahahhahahahahahha.

insane. yes.
i'm very happy ;D

---

KOR = BENj = ME = MUM

some equation on our looks -.-

good old GB days

Dear Diary,

I overslept again today but i still made it to service. thank God there is some technical problems so everything was delayed (:
So Ms Catherine leaded worship today and most of the songs or rather, all the songs are those that i'm familiar with. we usually sing those during GB for singspiration. it brought me back to the familiar feeling i use to have as a GB girl, singing happily like there's just me and God.

I thank God for this worship today actually. Ever since XXX, i suddenly became so drifted away. Maybe i'm just so occupied with my everyday thing that fills up every emptiness within. So busy with everything that i've already blended into the cycle like everyone else. Sometimes even planning for gliderz event or going for those events, it just felt like any other social events that everyone goes to. it's been really long since i last had a proper quiet time. Even during prayers, my mind is drawn away or sometimes i just simply allow myself to fall asleep.

in the past, when somebody tells me that another person has drifted away from God, i'll always tell myself that it will not happen to me 'cause i always trusted Him in every way. Now, i'm relying on my own and always having the mentality that i can solve my own problems and not even willing to give it a try to believe or trust. albeit i always say that i must have faith in Him.

changed so much. if it was still the same person who was once so devoted, i believe she'll never have to post about all these.

and i really pray that i'll be like how i use to be.

---

Kit is sick ):
get well and meet up soon!

till next time>>

what more can i say?

yes, i think i should give others a thought in a way then.
but i just don't understand.
if i have to keep thinking about how others will feel upon what i have to say, wouldn't i be fake? wouldn't it be worse?
oh well, i can't satisfy everyone cos i'm after all just a normal human being.

---

so much about fussing, seems like nobody can be bothered with me.
never mind, i'll just talk to myself then.
but seriously, i can't really accept the fact that i'm over 45KG.
like in my entire life, i've never exceeded it.
and nobody is willing to be sympathetic enough to console me.
okay.. since that's the case, i'll just get over it by talking to myself and convince that it's nothing and i'm WILLING to grow up to 50kg.
i don't mind, i don't mind.
i don't mind as long as i can be stronger.
hmm.. maybe only 2 people sympathized with me.
mum said that i'm fatter. and i'm pretty grateful she said that.
and of course none other than PEPPER!

anw, it was that we were down to RP for lunch then we went over to their gym with a free tour guide (hahah) and tt's when i got to know how much i've grown and joanna certainly shrinked. hahah. the food there is like..... let's go there again next thurs kay? hahah

---

besides everything, my 18th is coming.
mann.. i'm old. and i don't really anticipate it.
but still, i can brighten up my day with some gifts.
if HAPPEN that you want to get me a present,
you can just take a look at these:

1. polka dotted harversack
2. a new cap
3. hmmm.. sunblock

yup.. i'm lazy to think. i prefer ppl with more sincerity (:

okay, i'm tired after work. bye bye.

HOLD MY BREATH

was down to train instead of work 'cause i'm SCAMMED again.
well, actually i don't really mind. i was more excited about going for training.
so i was a little agitated or i dono what.
i just started correcting mistakes by shouting.
i know partner doesn't blame me (i hope) but ya, i still feel guilty albeit i apologised.
hmm.. i know partner loves me as much as she loves her new phone right?
hahahah! I LOVE YOU TOO PARTNER!

omg..
i'm kind of influenced by the way those ANTM ladies speak.
so pardon me.
i'm actually waiting for the show to load so i popped by here.
now it's back to my show.
TATA!

burst of motivation

we'll lift heavier weights,
we'll keep pushing on,
we'll endure,
we'll not lag behind,
we'll grit our teeth and
give in our best.
let's do it for each other partner!
we'll continue to work towards our goal, our first K2 medal.

GO Jocelyn GO
GO Melissa GO

till next time>>

insanity

i'm totally mad.
i have church service tmr and i'm still awake.

anw, was just browsing through some blogs and i realise how boring my blog is.
especially to see the standard of English my bro has actually set.
reading through his blog is like reading a whole new story book.
albeit not expressive vocabulary, it still says a lot in every post he types.
the way he actually describe with simple English and the true emotions that you will never see him express on his face. seriously, i'm impressed. Reading his most recent post actually set me crying and pondering. 'cause i'll never expect him to say things like that and to all that I know, he seem like he hated him and will never forgive him ever. now i conclude, i'm not the only soft-hearted creature around. he has a heart softer than mine and hatred doesn't last forever.
agree with him that through my 11 years, the memory of him is vague. all i could say is he adores me a lot when i was a little girl.

okay, i'm so dead. caffeine or doze off in service.

till next time>>

W.H.Y?

why is it that i'm getting it all in a blow again.
apparently i'm the only alien living in this world.
i'm starting to have negative thoughts about life again.
how emotional.
i can't really control myself sometimes, really.
i need a breather.
just leave me alone.
i hate talking.
i just want to do my own things.
leave me.
just let me be.
i want to be on my own.

and for the first time, i'm actually taking work as my hideout.

till next time>>

urghhhhhh

i'm not going to say anything about my GPA this time. i'll study very hard and for real, very hard for my next sem and make sure i pull up my grade to where it used to be.

old monitor broke down a few days ago and i really miss it. albeit it's the very "lao pok pok" one which is neither a flat screen nor a big screen, it's still preferred. it has been there since i'm in sec 1 or even earlier. this new screen definitely looks better but it's so STRETCHED! even when i look at my own friendster pic, i look so FAT AND SHORT! goodness. it's giving me a headache. well, call me a mountain tortoise for all i care but i still want my old monitor back )*:

i have been searching for my "shopaholic and baby" & "undomestic goddess" from last sem and i still can't find it! it must be hiding in some pile of dust at home. instead, i found "princess diaries-sixsational". well, better than nothing.

the monitor is turning me off. i'm going to sleep. bye bye!

till next time>>

yawns

i've been using the comp the entire day after i came back home.
just chatting on msn and all. how come time can pass so fast?
it's not even like that at work.
i'm like yawning at a rate of 10 mins/yawn.
*YAWNS*

ohyes, i'm getting my results on the 16SEP!
goodness.
i'm starting to get nervous.
goodness.
means holidays are ending soon too.
goodness.
i'm so tired.
goodness.
*YAWNS*

p.s. JON! thanks for fixing the rubic. really really. i'm amazed at how you can twist and turn that thing and get that thing back in shape.

till next time>>

i'm not one who fancy teddies and stuff but sometimes, girls are girls. receiving it once in a while can brighten up my day night especially after a long day at work (:

it was since forever that i last had a good chat with a friend on msn. so i was chatting with joce about everything under the sun like how we girls used to do until she had to go down to play with candles ): BOOOHOOOO and i'm like left alone at home la.

well, at least i had an accomplished morning and afternoon. service then to centerpoint with BENJ RP to develop the gliderz pictures and he so fell in love with jadyn and janna's innocent pictures. hahhahah. jordon's really adorable too:

you will be off on this tuesday (16 sept)
as now we are overstaff
due to new shop still not open.
(ignore the english)

YEA!! so i don't have to miss my 2 sessions of training on tues! WAHAHAHAHAHAH
i'll make good use of the chance and train hard!
i want to be strong! RAWR!
i will NOT stay stagnant!
i will keep improving!
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMMMYYYYY!
to see you bring us through so much alone, i must really say that i'm proud of you and i believe no one else can ever do it better than you. your love is simply unconditional love. i love you mummy!

to think it through seriously, my mum really rocks!

okay, i have more things to post about but since it's mum's bday, i'm going to dedicate this post just for her ;D

happy 3rd :D

in total, i spent 10 hours at seletar today.
if the place is cleaner, i don't mind staying there. hahah
partner and i are really getting it and we'll keep improving yea? let's go mann. AGGRESSIVE! RAWR!
or the "chun li" style, HAI~ YA! (inside joke) hahah.
---

i'm like supposed to work on tues and i wasn't informed at all. so i was happily training on tues as well so i'm now the bad who irresponsibly missed worked without informing everyone else. argh! and thank God i called to check for my next working day which is this friday. how irritating. oh well, i'll just bear with it for this month.
---

this holiday, think i'm devoting too much time for training and with the new work schedule, i don't really get a chance to meet pepper. so today we had lunch tgt after 1st session training and dinner after 2nd session training. though time spent together is short, at least it's quality time with each other (:
and so happen that it's our 3rd month today!
i love you pepper!

more training tomorrow (:

till next time>>

WATER SOCCER

ICE CREAM!

right, random pic from church camp.

so today was our gliderz event: WATER SOCCER!
violent game yet a fun one.
once in a life time chance to see adults, kids, youths, practically everyone slipping and falling in the water. hilarious indeed. i got my chance to slip and fall as well and i'm sure everyone got bruised from the violent kicking. everyone just kick all over the place to get the ball into the goal post and water splashing all over our faces. cool stuff. i didn't know ball games can be that fun. hahah.

benj is busy working now. RAWR!

till next time>>

GREAT accomplishment

oh yes! i finally finish reading through my 50 over emails. and it IS really a great accomplishment!
and i came across this. woah, who would want to be the last runner in the relay? hahah.

OTOT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOW CHERIE!

it's your turn to be 18! must be really excited right. hahah. enjoy yourself over at aust!

today's my break from all the trainings.
trained the whole week
monday: LAND
tuesday: water
wednesday: water
thursday: water (morning) & water (afternoon)
(anw, it's quite nice to nap in the shed except for all the ants and spiders)

so it's a well earned rest to get ready for time trial on saturday. i must admit that i'm really nervous but since partner and i have trained so hard, there is nothing to fear and surely, nothing to lose.
our best and nothing less

suddenly i'm blanked and i dono what to blog anymore.
until i can think of something to blog then i'll be back.
meanwhile, i'll train even harder ;D

BYE!

HAPPY 20th HUAT!

well a little late but still,

HAPPY 2oth HUAT
more joyful days ahead and don't start turning emo! oh ya! YOU ARE 20 this year! you're born in the year of 1988!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
happy happy happy BIRTHDAY again!

till next time>>

THINK TOO MUCH

It's hilarious to look back and see how far I've gone thinking about something that usually only happens in drama serials. The details thought, the whole morning spent suspecting, i can't help but to laugh at my silliness. i jumped into conclusion too soon and it's just silly when the truth surface. i think I've got to have more trust.

land training in the evening. all the best to me. i will get through it!!

till next time>>