off track

thanks to HUATIE who reminded me:

SHIT! i just realise that this week is actually week 11.
which means week 12 is like coming monday!
i have JAP e-assignments due by thurs, draft of SP4, and Thermo lab report by friday.
totally screwed with my dates. was still happily thinking that exams are over.
it's time to wake up my dumb idea mann. i'm only like a month away from my end of year exams and it's over for my toughest days of my poly life! i anticipate for the end so much but i really hate the process. WHAT sia!

OMG. i'm so confused. i dono where to start first. i think i better catch some slp first 'cause i'm having brain pain that i cant even think right.

i sound like i'm just talking to myself. okay, whatever.

oh ya! i'm going to church tomorrowwwwwwwwwwww!
taking things for granted is the newest trend isit? and i'm following so closely to it. lose it then regret. mel, another smart move.

i better stop talking and all. bye.

focus point

maybe things just keeps coming and going that my brain can't adapt. it's more like i know that i'm suppose to do this but i'm just not spurred on to do it. don't ask me what is going on. i'm confused too. that's the problem of having a miniature brain.

i need to focus, really focus. i don't see much time and i'm still joking around. what is wrong mann. walao.

---

so it was girls day out yesterday. omg. i'm really lovin' it. one thing after another. we may be silent for awhile prolly we haven't met up for long but when the ball starts rolling, it can't come to a stop! things get juicier and more secrets reveal. HA! all of a sudden, we know so much more about each other again (:
it's always nice to meet up with them again. it's really a time where there is no secrets between us and everything has to spill. more plans to meet up again and i surely hope it will happen!

i can't wait for another time like that. and i keep insisting that i only bring $1 out yet i'm the one eating the most -.-

---

don't say, just PROVE it. no time to lose!
yes, i don't have any idea on my youth sunday games yet. help ppl. any games that can play before service and only cost 5 minutes? pleasee.. GOD, pls grant me even more wisdom for my miniature brain. AMEN!

p.s. ice blended stuff can be deceiving.

GOD almighty

Oh yes, how can i ever forget to thank the one who gave me all the wisdom, perseverance and determination.

THANK GOD

bye bye common test

bye bye common test.
it's so comforting to end my common test with HEAT AND MASS TRANSFER (HMT). it changed my whole sucky mood of studying mann.
i suddenly see hope in my coming days of this sem.
overall i screwed FPM and maths paper but i must say that i did give in all that i can for all 3 papers. if the grades have to differ from the amount of effort that i put in, then i must say that i have no talent in this kind of modules.

okay okay.. life's going to be good again. i can concentrate on getting back on track for whatever there is and i've made up my mind to be consistent in my work. i shall be a geek for the rest of this sem! i'm determined! maybe i can set this as my 2nd-half-of-the-year resolution. hohoh.

---

i'm the games IC for youth sunday! mann. i don't always like planning for games but maybe i have some hidden talent about games that i didn't know. hmm.. but i really don't like to plan games. i prefer to play ( well, who doesn't?).

---

Daryl have been pretty zombie-ish these days for whatever reason. but he never fails to have this weird looking shocked face. hahah!


circuits training later. i miss gym so badly ):

---

suddenly, i'm going out tomorrow with the GIRLS! it's really time we catch up with each other especially for Jo who i havent seen for months! but too bad diana has to work and cherie in aus. okay, it's better than nothing (;

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE

melissa

credits to JOCELYN.

a happy picture for a sad entry.
trying to obtain equilibrium.

MATHS and FPM
can't help but to feel totally cheated. everything is just not right. what the hell is wrong. it's either i'm plain dumb or i'm just not that clever (doesn't make a diff. anw). there goes my dream A for maths. i can just kill myself for leaving out 15 marks totally for maths. and mind you, it's MATHS!! dammit.
FPM is hopeless. i will pray soooooo hard to get a D. damn pathetic ):

whatever. i'm left with HMT and all my hopes are on it.
was suppose to be mugging hard for HMT today but i end up playing with "cooking mama".
mel, well done mann. even i can't control myself. i'm totally hopeless.

i realise another thing. i hate myself more and more each day.
GOD, i think it's really time i listen to you and follow closely behind.
till next time>>

change

change in partner,
change in role.
i MUST do well and not disappoint her.
which in a way also says that i must build myself up physically 'cause i'm just too weak to be a back rower. i want to be as muscular as Popeye when he eats his spinach. i want to be the engine to the boat. i must let my new partner trust me that we will get our goals.
we have an aim and we will strive to get it. all i need is more time. i promise to give my best for every training.
more rowing tomorrow. i must get it right!

Don't i look like the new team manager with the clipboard? LOL

i'm suddenly reminded of how much i hate studying whenever i have no time to finish those revision that is. haven't touch FPM yet and paper is on tuesday. good job mann mel.

till next time>>

CHURCH CAMP pics (a few)

Modern junkie-fied "yu sheng"
it's damn cool with all the cheezels, gummy bears, raisins, etc.
it tastes 10000x better than the real "yu sheng". hahah

i'm supposed to be concussed by now actually but the more i use the comp, the more awake i get. how?

will try to knock myself to real concussion. bye!

CHURCH CAMP 2008

Pulai Desaru Church camp 2008 came to an end this morning.
learned so much and was much LOVED by our church family.
i really hate to leave the camp especially when i'm starting to get use to the environment and people.
but,
good things always comes to an end.
so i'm back to the real world again.

---

think it's no longer only a passion
it's more like an obsession!
i didn't really think of rowing when i was at Desaru
but the moment i step into singapore,
i think of wednesday, 3pm and K2.
so i rushed down to row.
and a few of us learn to stand on K boats!
HAHAH!

i'm so slpy now.
kept insisting on using the comp still.
tsk tsk..
just to tell everyone that i'm BACK in a piece :D

okay.. i really cannot take it. i'm going to concuss soon.

p.s. pictures up when everyone else sends them to me.

kunfu panda

finally a day out with my poly friends.
we must all thank xiang yuan for the lunch treat for 5 of us!
watch KUNG FU PANDA! motivating show and it came just right in time eh. i want to be as determined as "PO" the panda, going for what he wants and never give up even though he is beaten down so many times. i believe one day, i will make it like how PO did it and defeat that "tai lang".
after movies, we went for a walk around far east then off to CHOMP CHOMP for dinner!
like finally people are willing to go to chomp chomp with me. hahah. though the place is really humid, i still enjoy myself there! anw, their drinks all come in super big cups which really suits me. after which was ICE cube cafe to celebrate xiang yuan's advance birthday. got him a very nice chocolate cake but decorated with a lot of rubbish. will post up the pic next time.
then laopa send us home (:

today's my first sea training after NWKC.
well, everything is back to basics.
i need to overcome my mental barrier fast. like how master shifu did. it may just keep flashing back and forth once in a while but the only way to get rid of it still depends on myself. okay, it's more like a phobia actually and it really got to me while rowing but i will get over it. 'cause going on with the thought is going to kill my spirit of giving my best.

so, I WILL KEEP TRYING!

anw, this is master shifu.
gtg. bye!

pics and NWKC

That's how we greet each other

daryl's signature imitation of "ahhh.." in the super deep voice

i spoiled his super cool pose
last day of school before study break and we are still very hardworking eh..
but this bunch are still sitting there playing daidee. TSK!
and realise that SR is still in her lab coat although we are in a tutorial room!
well, i'm not that hardworking afterall. fancy getting so excited over some PSP game. omg

it's when you are finally free from tests and especially when the next day is the start of 2 weeks study break. so you see, we are starting to enjoy already.
---

NWKC on saturday and sunday.
i wouldn't escape the fact that i'm not good enough. i will train harder from today. even harder than before.
anyways, congrats to JINGTING and AISING! also good job to liling who went into finals and rainie who got into semi. GOOD JOB LADIES!
one more thing. since i have a partner, when we win, we should smile together, laugh together, share the glory together. yes i know that. and when we lose, we should cry together and share the sorrows together. yet i did not. i'm guilty for it and i promise i will never do that again. i WILL no matter what, share any joy and sorrows together with my partner!

and finally, i'm back to seletar! my home!

till next time>>

just the borderline

somehow and somewhat, back to square one.
but still revolving around the vicious cycle.

used to look forward to just a pass and almost always contented. after every test or exam, as long as i'm over and done with it, i will definitely invert my frown. but now i no longer do. always getting the worried feeling just like everyone else who aims high and expects for more. maybe that's what the world has taught me to. aim high and expect for more; don't just aim for the tree. instead, aim for the sky so at least when i fall, i will still have the clouds. yes, it's ever since i got to see the light to prove to someone that i don't deserve to be despised. not sure if this is good or bad. i'm expecting more from myself and not enjoying the entire process of life but i don't want to go back to just aiming for a borderline. is there a way to get equilibrium in life?
---

all test: SCREWED. but i did pass my FPM retest which i endured 2 days of misery studying for.
as of now, tests are over till after my 2 weeks break. and i just want to enjoy the process of going through what i really love. row with a happy heart and anything more will be a bonus. finish it with no regrets.

the insufficient sleep is killing my brain.
that's why we have a mini CFC (caffeine fan club) among my clique.

2 more days to NWKC!
and i will appreciate seletar even more when i go back there to row.

till next time>>

random pics

here's just some random pics, new and old.Well, it's just the comparisonEMO elmo's name card. LOL

the NWKC paddlers 2008 (:

and bro's cookies are DONE!

random stuff. till then!


p.s omg, i'm so breaking out of my comfort zone. never will i expect myself to. madness.

Blessed sunday

heard the church bell when i was at macRitchie. it's the first sunday of the month.
Blessed SUNDAY.
though didn't make it down to church but i had a fantabulous training.
THANK GOD.
ytd was one of the worse training and today was the total opposite though we weren't that focused while doing warm up.
we may not be fast but we are determined to be fast.
so that's it! we will be fast in the end!
jelly did really well today. so proud of her. her T2 spirit is BACK. GO GO GO.

macRitchie has MONITOR LIZARDS!
it's freakin' approx. 0.5m long and it looks like crocodile!
omg. initially i thought it was a baby croc -.-
saw it ytd but thank God i didn't see it today while liling saw 3 (!!)
and a beetle was on her foot!
freak.

i'm left with a last official training on wed and that's it.
okay, i'm excited yet scared.
the more scared i am, the more determine i want to be.

it's suppose to be:
REE test (25%) > JL2 oral and written test > NWKC
(since that's the sequence of the upcoming stuff)

but..
i'm taking it that NWKC > JL2 > REE test.

oh mann, i got my priorities wrong. REE test is on monday WEDNESDAY and JL2 tests are on thurs while NWKC is saturday and Sunday. anyhow, GOD BLESS ME!

*bro is baking cookies for me (:
think if he gets a gf, she will just be damn lucky and i will hate her. hahah!!

sayonara!