good is mummy, life

mum was nice yesterday to get me an extra FBT voluntarily. (ya, she is nice everyday :D). she went shopping with sis and i couldn't go 'cos i went training and cheering instead. okay, at least i got something.

and another random thought. hmm.. can't imagine and don't want to imagine how life will be like without kayaking.
no trainings, rotting at home the whole time, typing "i'm bored" non-stop on msn the entire day. even if there is work, life will still suck. even now, for only a few hours, i feel myself wasting life away by the minute. oh gosh.. don't dare to imagine. unless i have those "filled with fun and laughter, busy every minute, enjoying what i'm doing" kind of life then will i dare to imagine. which is impossible.
but with kayaking, it is possible (:

in short, i enjoy what i'm doing now (:

till next time>>

bye for now

yea, last day. wasn't as anticipated as expected. still remember how dreadful work was on the first few days. however, on GOOD FRIDAY, i started to enjoy myself. it's the busy environment which made me want to stay and the super quiet place that made me want to leave (huh?). ya, so it actually depends. i'm getting along pretty well with some of them already yet i have to leave. how sad. oh wells, shall wait till my next holidays.

i'm going to the zoo, zoo, zoo... how about you, you, you...
HAHAH. yea, going back for a tour tomorrow. taking the tram around, recollecting the zoo experience. the last time i went was last year before entering poly so it's about a year since i last visited the animals! (the real ones not the soft toys -.-)

hereby, let's congratulate ENKAI aka AH WANG who got his GOLDEN cookie!! *claps claps* well done, well done. you did the team proud :D

i've been fed with a lot of curry/sambal/spicy food recently. guess that's the cause of my pimples ):):):):):):):):):):
yes, 10 sad faces.



p.s. serious that i have the potential to sell sarongs and t-shirts. i can tie very nice ribbons too :D (random lah!)

till next time>>

NJCC

managed to row in the morning then off to macritchie to support ENKAI who got to the finals! He did a great job to compete with all the NELOs. All the best to him once again for tmr's race. WIN MEDALS BACK FOR THE TEAM!

was super high at macritchie. i was yak yak yak-ing all the way with AX, jelly and joce. LOL. can't stand myself. talk so much. but when i'm at work, my colleagues told me that i'm quiet. hur hur.. how contradicting. yes, it's the people that makes the difference (:

last day of work tomorrow. i'm sure to miss the place and people. they are such nice souls. but i would rather row. hahah. the people and place is better anyway ;D

guess i got the potential to expand heads and minimize bodies (:

till next time>>

partner oh jelly

partner oh jelly

i still believe that it's just the process. fall and pick yourself up again. you are the one who was there to motivate me when i was down and depressed(refer to post march 02). you are strong jelly. don't ever give up! cheer up and be the wobbly jelly again!

---

left with the very last day on sunday. the longer i stay, the more enjoyable it is. yea, it's always when it's time to leave then will you start to appreciate.
due to that i only rowed on tues for the entire week. damn pathetic. nevermind, will row plenty next week.
--

NJCC is tmr. all the best to ENKAI and win back medal for the team okay? all the wayyyy!

till next time>>

stick to myself

rowed: 15 rounds

capsized: 0 times

YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!

well, you all should know why i'm so happy. at least this time i feel the boat glide though HY still saw me sitting straight like a flagpole. but that's for the last few rounds okay. i will go faster and stop sitting like a flagpole. capsizing is no longer going to be in my dictionary.

no point looking back. get what's the problem and move on. it applies to everything. keep moving on ppl. i'm addicted to rowing again!

last 3 days of work and i'm FREEEEEE! sit and wait for pay. that's what i really want.

gave up the chance of going to OBS. it's gonna cost me 4 days of training and i cannot afford when i'm still not stable. oh wells, i've been to it before anyway.

so tired. bye peeps (o:

rejection

shit. i don't even know if this is a sudden decision or not. i have no idea if i'm gonna regret it for life. but at least i know for the next few days or maybe weeks and months i will. i'm so confused. i cannot help it. i thought it's gonna do us good but i can't help but to feel heartbroken. shit. shit. shit. i'm the biggest fool on earth. i deserve to be killed. just skin me alive.

easter sunday

think blogger interest me no more. apparently, i'm just staring at the 'new post' page and waiting for something to jump into my mind to blog about.

well, i'm improving in K1. but it's not enough.. ya.. errr... what should i type next? lol
oh yes, yesterday while we were having lunch after training, the bunch of guys cannot stop making me laugh that for once i laugh too hard that i think the rice almost came out from my nostril. goodness. it's like GROSS! and yes, i was laughing so hard that my face went red.

today was church, cell and gliderz wing. gliderz wing was unexpectedly spacious cos only yee herng, joce and i made it for jumanji. goodness. seems like nobody appreciates our effort for choosing this show. never mind. next time they shall do the movie selection for the month.
Kirsten Dunst is like sooooo adorable! hahhaha. she is soooo young tt time. LOL. well, i'm younger than her though. after the show we somehow got into taboo and started crapping and using lousy english mix chinese and cheating with obvious actions. it's fun la. it's the company and laughter that matters ((:

home. bought LJS on the way back for dinner. sinful.

don't try to discourage me. seriously, it wun work ;D

till next time>>

GPA

well, my GPA dropped but considering that the modules for this sem are tougher, i'm still quite contented with my grades (:
as usual, maths never fails me. it's just the rockiest module anyone can get la. HAHAH!
got B for JAP. will they give me the chance to go for JAP 2? i really want it quite badly.

okay, i don't have to worry about my GPA and studies at least for now so i shall just put my entire mind and soul into my CCA (anw, i'm doing so already). oh ya! my bro was so encouraging. he was saying that although i deproved (by abit) but to see that i can handle my CCA at the same time, i'm quite good. heheh. thanks la. i can always rely on them for the best encouragements.

like what i told huat, we shall work even harder for next sem (yes, we said that last sem too -.-). ya, we'll try. HA!


biceps still hurt. and i still havent get over the fact about my GPA so i'm not able to slp yet. i shall wait then.

shall restart. just like friends. or just better friends for now.

till next time>>

ouch. my biceps hurts. gymed yesterday and rowed today. that's why.

went down to Gliderz wing on sunday to start on the laminating job which we have been procrastinating. were hoping to finish up everything which is like totally impossible so brought some home for the cutting and trimming. i did cut and do my job okay! just that you don't see me in the pic cos i'm the PHOTOGRAPHER.

finally a show after soooo long (((:
step up 2 here i come!

results will be out TOMORROW ppl!!!

till next time>>

shit him

it totally pisses me off when you think you know me but you totally DON'T. just forget it. we have generation gap. just forget it. i don't want to end up getting so crapped up. so just forget it. i need to cool down. don't come talking to me yet. thanks.

life as such

Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You

weather is GREAT today! no matter how much the sun is going to destroy my skin, i still love it (:
today was time trial. freakin' scared. just kept telling myself not to capsize. was like talking to myself while paddling la; crazy. but at least it helps. managed to complete the full 1st round and capsized on my second round right before the finishing buoy and capsized after only a few strokes for the last round. mannnn. oh wells, i did feel that i improved and will train harder. teammates are the bestest. they kept encouraging me and convincing me that i will not capsize. without their support i can never carry on. thank you soooo much!

went back to Sembawang sec for cell grp. BB boys and GB girls were having their leadership camp. miss those camps la. especially the pulau ubin adventure camp. stayed for awhile after cell to chit chat with joce then went to northpoint for dinner. home.

life is good. everything about life is good (:
work on fri was the best. busy it is. reminded me of my promoter days. really miss those ppl and the busy days where we fold those clothes till our hands go soft. the people here are good too. they love to gossip a lot. ha!

thanks for everything (:

till next time>>

wed training

I LOVE MY TEAM!

K2 was disheartening. well, it's only our second time paddling on K2. i was so irritated that i had to return to the pontoon to calm down; mood swing. i'm not angry with partner but myself. just very disappointed that i cannot bring my partner to row calmly with me. i kept leaning. only until i got on K1 then i realise how much i was leaning. but i thought of how we started off in T2 last time. so annoying and discouraging. our directions are always so crapped up. but we still got over it. so this time, we shall not give up too. we CAN and MUST DO IT!

HOWEVER,

we didn't capsize and managed to go for 2 rounds ;D
great improvement partner! let's work even harder! if you really want it, i'm sure you can do it! HEH! i didn't capsize today! for the first time! so contented. cos jingting kept telling me: your hair is dry/ you still look dry ((:

i realise many still dono how racing in kayaks look like ):

opening shift tmr. if you intend to go for a tour in the zoo for this week, i recommend that you don't. i really pity those who are there and the moment they enter, it rains. poor people. the weather these days are crazy.

joce is becoming like my mum. HA! she will remind me to slp and set me a slping curfew. HAHAH! but i appreciate it. thanks friend ((:

---

results will be out next wed!

till next time>>

4e2 pic

HAHAHAH(!!) found this pic and i was like -.-
3 full time nerds. and we have quite classic hair style. HA!
see, i'm next to my partner la. what coincidence.

yes yes, i've been blogging almost everyday. and sometimes even 2 times a day. blog addict ;D

land training

running was crapped up. can't even keep up all the way till the last round. what am i doing?!
irritating plus disappointing.
but gym was better. i went over my weights limit to avoid disappointment. so was quite happy with that. dined with the team and talked crap. quite entertaining though. like some matchmaking session in a coffeeshop. home at 11pm.

i'm from NYP SPRINT KAYAK TEAM. HA! when coach helped us to make the decision, he suddenly became the best human being on earth can! the few who wanted it so much really got so high and started cheering like as if we just won GOLD in some big race. hahahah! oh wells, the decision is still not made though. it's still stuck hanging in the air, waiting for the sky to fall :/

work is so dreadful. but at least the free lunch makes me anticipate. hur hur.

and i'm finally talking to my sister again after so long. praise the LORD. though she can still be that annoying. what to do? big irritating sister leads to a small annoying sister.

oh ya, joce brought her toufu to training la. walao... think she is going to bring it everywhere she go like how ms eunice bring bubba (money-face) everywhere she go. like officer like girl. LOL!

stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid.

till next time>>

prata aft work (:

experiencing the sunday crowd is definitely 10000000 times better than those cold weekdays. at least the time passes by in 15 mins rather than in 5 secs. had fried rice. gosh.. it's good mann. i'm like so lucky to have tasted good food for 2 days out of my 4 days. thank GOD. and i'm early for work though i went home from interchange when i realise i forgot to bring my shoes. i perspired like as if i ran 10km by the time i finally sit down to wait for my bus. i'm supposed to be late according to the bus schedule but the bus came extra early. so i was there early ((: it's really super miraculous can.

well, i miss service again. how holy.
at the same time, pangseh-ed diana. sorry girl.

prata at casuarina after work. mushroom prata is my second favourite now. i still like banana with caramel :D (fatty acids).
thanks for the prata dude ;D

okay.. just read diana's blog and i feel utterly useless as a friend. hopefully you can just get over it like how you told me you wun get affected and just live the life you want it to be.

ALVIN! congrates upon getting bronze! did our team proud :D

tired again. bye ppl!

MR500

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANG WAN YI JOCELYN; DUMB DUMB

she is 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18 this yearrr! grow up le! hahah.

MR500
missed work. went down for circuits training. i always like circuits cos we always do it altogether. nice! the after effect of perspiring is so shiok but we do stink a lot. went back to cheer for those competing. after jun wei and alvin's race, we went off.

alvin got into finals! good job! jun wei did well also! really proud of you guys!

went over to amk for anderson's ice cream. apple crumble and PEPPERMINT choc ice cream are the best! shared with hueyyen since we love eating PEPPERMINT ice creams (except for the one in sakura). i love i love!

so tired. went home to slp.

day out with XY, training and PAY

since i have the pictures now.
went out with XY to get something on wednesday after training. he brought me to this very chinese/old looking dessert shop to eat. XY's almond paste is nice just that i don't really like filling my whole mouth with almond. so i had yam with sago. too bad it's not yam paste with ginko nuts. the yam paste at soup restaurant is HEAVEN. hahah.

---

managed to row in red K1 again. did laps nearby. didn't capsize until i stopped my boat halfway and wanted to start again. it's alright.

• it's all in the mind
• the water don't scare me
• i promised not to capsize at least for the first 10 laps
• caps are way useful
  
• being perpendicular to the backwash of M3 is damn fun! (can bounce in the boat)

this red dragonfly nest on my cap just now la. so eeeky. luckily jelly told me before i started rowing if not i will capsize for sure. she managed to get rid of it before that thing went to drown itself after flying away. HA! meanwhile getting rid of that dragonfly we screamed like as if we saw a shark. HA! oh ya, we now have nicer pontoon. at least we wun slip on the plank (:

---

aim of getting timbuk2 is going to come true soon! church camp is approaching and i'm not sure if i'm going. i really want to go! when my pay comes, i will see higher hope in going. it seriously excites me to know how much i've earned so far for standing like a stone. my bro is right. i'm always trapped in this vicious cycle of earning and spending everything and be broke again :/

---

joce's day is coming in a few hours time. i'm so excited for her. she is turning 18!

---

all the best to those racing in MR500 tomorrow! JUNWEI and ALVIN, do our team proud ;D

yes, i'm off tmr! thank GOD.

till next time>>

TRAINING = LIFE

so why is it no life when i keep training?

SHOCK!

"ulu" bus stops are part of the process.

stood for a good whole 8 hours and it just excites me when it's time to go home. took 138 to some "ulu" bus stop in order to get bus 171. alighted at this bus stop which has a grass cliff behind. i was sitting there while waiting for my bus and suddenly this disease-looking dog was behind me. it has scratch marks on it's head which is obvious that it went through a fight.
it kept staring at me as i stood up in shock. it started to approach me so i swung my shoe bag helplessly at it. it starting barking like crazy and i thought it's some signal to get it's gangs of dogs to attack me. thank God it's not. i was so desperate to escape that i nearly went onto the road. nobody was around. not a single soul even on the opposite bus stop. for a few minutes it just kept wanting to approach me as it barked. a while more, i chased it onto the cliff then gone. still gotta wait for another few minutes before bus 171 came. goodness me. i almost fainted on the spot.

thinking that after a long day i will get to go home happily. the standing really made me feel that my legs are detaching from my hips. serious.

so now i'm still in a state of shock. like really SHOCK.

*chewing heavily on mentos*

till next time>>

first day of work

only the first day and i dread it so much. standing there like a stone, literally. before that i was made to memorise prices. goodness me. but i managed to pass that test la. so was alright. i started counting down to 6pm from 3pm. it's just that boring that i had to force my eyes open. my legs are almost hardening already. i rather run 10 km than to just stand there.

rushed down to sch for training. did only 1 set of abs and it was interview. then after interview, those who promised to work hard (duh.. it's me) have to prove it. so while the seniors are interviewing the others, those who finish must gym. alright. i did push myself to lift the weights okay.

so it was so much about commitment that i talked about. i'm going to work tmr instead of training. gosh. more of it. i hope i can get out of that place alive!

just finish my DINNER. so full that i feel like a balloon. so it's not possible for me to slp.

till next time>>

SUNDAY training

SUNDAY training.
only managed to psycho myself to be brave for 1 entire round without capsizing. after that round, i'm back to the same. shaking like crazy and just lose control over my boat. haix. nvm, i will try harder! so i did 7 rounds today. just nice to repay back the rounds that i owe coach yesterday. which means i did not even touch the rounds for today. which leaves me with 15rounds to pay. gosh. how am i ever going to do it....

caps are the ever most useful thing i've ever gotten la! sun or rain, it's there. only that the wind almost blew it off. i still LOVE my cap!!!

work from 8.30am- 6pm and training from 6pm onwards tomorrow. my uniform looks like rag!

shall end now. bye!

depressing

maybe now that i'm alone, by myself i get to think of how i actually fair for training yesterday.
i can feel my heart sink to the bottom of earth's crust though some nice souls did encourage me after i pour out my feelings to them. i always feel better when i pour it out but this time, it makes no difference and rather, my heart sunk even more. partner tried her best to encourage me and i'm 1/4 better now. guess it's just the phobia that is keeping me from trying harder. i don't even want to go for training tmr. i know that i'm trying to run away but it's no solution to making improvements. it's no way to run away, i've gotta face it somehow.

melissa: i can really feel my heart sinking to the bottom.
jElly: the more u are scared, the more u will cap
jElly: so dun be scared!!
melissa: ya..
melissa: true.
melissa: but i'm just scared. GOD SAVE ME!
jElly: tis time, only u can help yrself. no one else can help u to stop being scared la

what is wrong with me. this sudden phobia is killing me. hopefully sleeping can help me regain some confidence. anws, thanks partner.

and XY. for saying "same" all the time, you make me go against my own believes. )*:

till next time>>

training and random stuff

okay. fear not. it's just my terrapin.
ya.. i always mistreat it. not like i torture it or anything. just that i don't always wash it that it end up smelling like a cesspit. so in a way i'm still torturing it. have been there tolerating with me for 10 years. thanks to mum, bro and sis for feeding it and washing it since i'm always that L*. just keep reminding me. i will remember to wash it somehow (:

"reptile owners are more independent", quoted from reader's digest (RD). only half true for me. i still depend heavily on others in studies. HA!
ya, i'm suddenly addicted to RD cos i can't find my shopaholic and baby ):

TRAINING
suppose to do 15 rounds. did only 8; very demoralising. still owe coach 7 rounds for not finishing. how am i ever going to finish that 7 extra rounds when i can't even finish my 15? whatever it is, i will just try. training again tmr. i'm the ultimate sinner. have been training for 5 days already but why can't i just stop for GOD? i'm a big fat sinner that i will never forgive. now that i've told almost the whole world that i'm going for training, i can't change if not i'm going to disappoint another group of ppl. so this time, i must tell everyone that i'm going to church NEXT WEEK! remember and pls tell me off if i don't go! thanks! (i think i'm siao).

today's rain is crazy. the rain kept going into my eyes that my lens almost came out. as for the SUN on wed and thurs, it turned me BLACK. so mum is utterly nice to me and sponsored me a CAP! hahah. so at last, i got my cap.
wanted this green and black one but bro says that it fits my jersey but it looks very starhub. ha! and mum thinks that i will look funny with my green jersey. so i got the purple and black one instead (:
THANK YOU MUMMY!!!

before i end,
i saw this from HUAT's blog:
Winner says 'It may be difficult but it is possible'; Loser says 'It may be possible but it is too difficult'.
nice one!

till next time>>