it's time i stay strong

it's not a rash decision.
i'm not one who always sticks to my decision.
tell me something and i'll be taken in most of the time.

all along, i've taken you as a mentor, a very dear person to me since i knew you.
i've respected you and even if i was reprimanded, i knew it was for my own good.
time and time again i disappointed you when you handle a new task to me.
you were the one who brought me to Him, and you taught me about Him,
you taught me many life skills and shared with me many life stories that nobody will be bothered to.
all credit goes to you for bringing me up just like your very own daughter.
but somehow, not all things go well.
i'm not influenced, i chose it this way.
i was very affected by what you told me and i felt so soft, wanting to go back.
but, i'm afraid that things will go back to how it is.
i'm too afraid.
i don't dare to face it all over again.
i no longer dare to face you.
i don't deny that i'm running away.
and i want to run far.
all i can try to do is continue my Faith in Him.

---

I'm enjoying work pretty much.
but i'll be really sad when Angelique goes back to indonesia end April.
she's really dear to me.
especially when part-timers hardly work on weekdays which leaves me really sad being alone ):


so far still so good.
i'm enjoying my holidays; drowning myself with work and training.
(ya, i call that enjoyment)
so that i wun die when attachment comes (:

till next time>>