jinx

i'm jinxed. i hate my life. and i'm trying to perfect it the moment i step out of sembawang sec. i've changed ever since but.. i've had enough. i give up. i no longer want to be older than anyone in my home. i've tolerated and tolerated and bear with it. i told myself that i can if my brothers can. they treat me with care and love day in and day out. Same for my mum. i throw tantrum at her and always behave so stubbornly. But she don't owe me anything. i know that i must treat her well. But i don't owe my sis anything. i helped her so much if my mum wants me to. i treat her well at times cos i think i should as an elder sis. but what do i get back? stubborn attitude and crappy shit. i give up. i really give up.

i'm trying very hard to show those that once looked down on me that i've changed and will study hard. but i don't get the respect nor do they even want to look at me when i talk to them. pls someone just tell me that my life is not jinxed and i still have hope.

till next time>>